Cast-off

A couple of weeks after having the smaller cast on, I saw my physio again.  She was very pleased with the flexibility and told me I could stop wearing the cast for things like driving short distances and no longer needed to sleep in it.  Given that those were the only things I was actually still wearing the thing for, after I left that day I have not worn it again!  She also said we can start to work on strengthening from now on, which means it could be about to get a whole load more painful!
A couple of days later, exactly 6 weeks after the operation, I was back at Spire for an x-ray and a meeting with my surgeon.  He seemed pleased with how things are going and asked to see me again in about 6 weeks.  I have to say, I left his office feeling somewhat deflated.  If I'm honest, I don't think there is much difference in my wrist now from how it was before the operation - aside from another bluddy great scar.  It still hurts just as much (in fact sometimes more so), and my range of movement hasn't improved at all.  I know I shouldn't, but sometimes I feel a bit negative about the whole thing!  A colleague asked me out of interest what sort of things the lack of rotation limits me from doing, as I guess until you can't rotate your wrist you have no clue as to how not being able to do so might affect you.  I've listed a few things below.  Although none of these are a massive hinderance, over the course of each day they do add up and although not life-limiting, it can get pretty frustrating from time-to-time!

• Eating or doing anything that requires holding a spoon/fork level.
• Opening and closing my car boot.
• Wiping my bum (sorry, TMI!!!!!!!).
• Applying lip gloss or lipstick.
• Plucking eyebrows.
• Carrying cups - I can do this but it hurts.
• Carrying a plate - I can't level it out so stuff would fall off.  So if you combine this with the point above you have a problem!
• Washing and applying moisturiser to certain parts of my body.
• Eating chips and dip (and anyone who knows me knows how often I do this!).
• Doing my nails.
• Doing my hair.
• Washing my face and doing my make-up.
• Blowing my nose.
• Picking up cats and small children - I can't create that cradle.
• Holding my mobile in my right hand means I can't hold it flat.
• Licking my fingers on my right hand isn't easy!  Neither is eating pizza!
• Using a camera.
• Ladelling soup at the work canteen. Or anything else for that matter.
• Accepting change.
• Getting soap into my hands from soap dispensers.
• As and when I think of more, I'll add them, so this will be an ever-expanding list!!!

Anyway, as an aside to all that, here is a picture of the new scar.  Very neat, but not exactly subtle!  Thankfully, because it's on the far side of my wrist, and because I can't rotate it, it's actually quite hard for me to see it!!  There's always a silver lining!!

Beautiful Emily

One of the hard parts about breaking my wrist, and the subsequent lack of strength/rotation and requirements for more surgeries, has been that it has been hard for me when it comes to being around kids.  My niece always wants me to play with her, and although she is gentle and thoughtful, it is hard for her to understand there are limits to what I can do.  For example, picking her up is really quite painful!  I do it anyway because I cherish every moment to get a cuddle!!  Then there are the twins - Charlie was interested as to what this thing was on my arm (Jake wasn't bothered at all!) and knew to be gentle, but being 3.5 years old and a boisterous toddler means that sometimes gentle is forgotten!
My best friend had a baby girl back in June, and being in plaster has meant I've not been able to cuddle her on many occasions, however I was pretty determined I would be able to hold her on her Christening day, when I was very proud to become one of her god-mothers :-)
I'm not much of a religious person, however there is something about being in a Church.  Last time I was in this one, it was to see my best friend walk down the aisle and become Mrs Walsh, so it'll always be a special place!  The same vicar did the Christening service, and at the part about where you are bringing light into the child's life, we got given sparklers!  We were asked to spend a few moments thinking about the victims of a bad motorway crash also, and although I did briefly, I used the time to instead think about my four friends who are currently fighting cancer.  I hope it helps in some way (and nobody saw the tears!).  There was a line in one of the hymns that particularly struck me "Give me courage when the world is rough, keep me loving though the world is tough."
Anyway, Emily Grace Walsh, I promise to be the best God-Mummy I can be!

No Cast!!!

Beautiful Emily x

Mummy and God-Mummies

Sparklers!

Time Flies...

I can't believe it's been over a month since my last blog post!  I don't really know where the time has gone, but so many things have happened in that time which probably accounts for me losing track of it.

I had my big cast off four weeks after the op, so six weeks ago now.  It was changed for a smaller cast which I was told I'd have to wear for four weeks (two more than I was anticipating) and which I was able to take off, and in fact was encouraged to start doing so.  Of course I took my physio's words (which were 'you can try taking the cast off now and again') to mean I didn't need to wear it, and subsequently went back to the office and took it off for the rest of the day.  I then decided driving the next day would be a good idea too.  I guess I just really wanted to get back to normal as soon as possible, and with two holidays coming up I thought that maybe I could just skip this step and not use the cast and therefore not have to take it on holiday with me.
Cue pain and the requirement for more codeine to manage it.  Duly got a telling off from my physio, who reminded me the idea was to wean myself off needing the cast, not just stop wearing it straight away.  I think I mentioned before about my stubborn streak - well in this case it was sort of working against me!  The good news was that the amount of flexibility I had straight away was pretty impressive, and not far off what I had before the op.

So, I reluctantly took the cast on holiday to Kent with me when I went away with some friends.  Honestly, it made no difference to how my holiday went so I don't know what I was worrying about - I had a fab time!  We were lucky with the weather so we had a halloween party, including decorating the cottage, carving pumpkins and setting off fireworks.  We went for walks, ate loads of food (including one of Ali's legendary roasts), visited the Spitfire Memorial and shopped in Canterbury.  The less said about the trip Ali and I took to Herne Bay and Culver Beach the better, although our day did improve when we ended up in a pub in Broadstairs and then sat in our cars letting waves crash over us!
I also had my birthday treat from Pete whilst we were away, which was to hand-feed a cheetah.  A truly memorable experience and I can't recommend highly enough a trip to the Kent Wildlife Heritage Foundation.

Doodles

Decorations on my cast, courtesy of Richard, Ali, Suzie and Pete...

Back to normality

After just over two weeks away from work, it was time to go back. To be honest I was ready for it, as I think the routine helps distract me, and I was looking forward to seeing everyone.
Still being unable to drive meant that I had to have lifts to and from work which to be honest is one of the hardest things about the whole situation. Having no independence and having to rely on other people for so many things gets frustrating, and then there are the things that other people can't help with (like having a wash or eating dinner) that become so much harder. This whole experience has taught me how much I take for granted. And I could definitely have more patience from time to time! When I found myself swearing at my knickers and tights for getting stuck and rolling themselves up together (try pulling that lot up with one hand and you'll see what I mean!) I realised I need to learn the art of taking a deep breath and chilling out every now and again!!! I'm usually quite good at laughing at myself but when you're tired (and believe me only having the use of one arm and being in pain is more tiring than you'd think) you need the odd reminder!

The first thing I had to do in the office was rearrange my desk. I got pretty good at using the mouse with my left hand when I was first in plaster, so I swapped that over. I also had to pull the keyboard right to the edge of my desk, as I couldn't reach it with my right hand. It took a little bit of getting used to, but once I had, I was able to work pretty quickly.
Getting lunch is something I need help with, as I can't hold a tray, and it's often tricky to grab your food and drink, and still leave a hand free to pay-and this is before we take into account getting napkins and cutlery! Luckily I've had lots of help from my lovely colleagues so it's been fine!
The other thing that's been tricky is finding clothes I can wear to work that fit over my cast. I spent some money on some cheapy casual clothes in anticipation but I hadn't really thought about work stuff! Surprisingly most dresses are ok as they are mostly short sleeved so as long as my cast fits through the arm-hole all is well with the world. This means more wrangling with tights but these are the sacrifices one must make in the name of fashion combined with warmth!!!! I only have one coat that I can wear, and it's not exactly stylish, being my waterproof more often worn teamed with wellies for walking, but after a couple of days shivering I admitted defeat and started wearing it.

I've enjoyed being back to some sort of one-armed normality, and I haven't found things as hard as I had thought they might be. Mainly due to the support I've had from friends and family, but also partly due to my stubborn personality. It's a personality trait that has stood me in good stead over the years, and I now know quite how much being stubborn and determined can help you recover and adapt much quicker than you might from little setbacks like this. The negative thinking side of my personality makes it hard from time to time but the stubborn 'I will not be defeated' streak will usually beat that side of me into submission!

Random Ramblings.....

Some more of those random thoughts and memories....

1. After mentioning before about how I was trying to speak in French but struggling, I also remembered my ski buddy trying to speak to the radiographer in French and failing miserably.  She was trying to say to him that it should have been her laying in the bed injured as she had done all the falling over on the trip....the one and only time I fell over and look what I managed to do!  I've been told that not falling over enough was the cause of my problems - apparently I didn't have enough practice at it.

2. I got texts from friends which meant the world to me as I was laying in bed in Briancon after Sarah had left.  It's easy to be strong and keep it together in front of other people but the moment you're left to your own devices (and left to your own thoughts) it becomes more of a battle.  They gave me something to think about other than the pain, and the impending operation.  I also got a little video message from my folks, brother and niece which I watched many times over - home seems a long way away when you're laying in a hospital bed abroad!  My phone bill was astronomical but it was worth every penny.

3. In order to be able to fly home, I had to get a 'Permit to Fly' from the hospital, without which the insurance company wouldn't book us on the flights.  The night before we were due to fly home, the insurance company rang me and asked me to fax a copy to them......Montgenevre is a very small resort, I had no idea if there was a fax machine!  There's only one place in resort with WIFI and that was a pub which I was not able to walk to - I ended up having to take a photo of the permit and using data roaming to send the photo via email which cost a small fortune.


4. When I was in the recovery room after the operation in France, there was a poster up in there the likes of which you'd normally see in a classroom.  It was detailing nerves, tendons and veins running around arms and shoulders, I think.  I do remember thinking that if you're about to perform an operation on someone you really ought to know all that stuff already and not be referring to an educational poster!  And if it was there for the benefit of us patients to give us something to look at, might I suggest an alternative subject matter?!?!  A nice scenic view perhaps?

5. Anaesthetics don't sit well with me, and whilst laying in recovery looking at the aforementioned poster I was sick and it was bright green.  I was saying 'je suis desole' to the nurses.  I'm sure you didn't really want to know that but there you go!!

6. Before the operation, when they were numbing my arm, I got to see it and what it looked like broken and it was not good!  Then after the local anaesthetic had numbed my arm, they asked me to slide myself across from the bed I was in, onto a trolley to go into theatre.  Thing was they wanted me to move to my right...with a deadweight for a right arm.  So I had to hold my broken right arm with my left arm and try and shuffle myself across all the while thinking that it must surely not be good for a broken joint to move about this much.  I was wheeled into theatre, only to have to move myself off the trolley onto the operating table which as you can guess, was on my right!  Then I remember the surgeon (Max) talking to me, but I wasn't listening to him as I could feel my arm being doused with iodine.  I could feel my arm and they were about to cut it open!  Max must have seen the panic on my face as he said to me 'You can feel it?' to which I replied yes.  He just shrugged his shoulders and said 'It's OK' in that proper Gallic way.  The next thing I remember is waking up.  So he was right I guess, it was OK!

Friendship and Fresh Air

The biggest benefit to having some time off work was that I was able to spend some time with my best friend Ali and my god-daughter, and also my fellow god-mummy Donna. I'm so happy that I was able to be out and about because I know I would probably have just wallowed a bit otherwise, and spent too much time in bed, on the laptop or watching crap tv.
On the Monday Ali and I went for a walk around Dinton Pastures. This is not unusual, it's a walk we do often. What was unusual was that for the first time this year, we were NOT wearing wellies! Don't get me wrong, I adore my wellies so love any excuse to put them on, it's just amazing that all summer we have been in wellies, and yet we hit October and can walk in summer shoes!




I also had to go back to the physios to get my cast adjusted, as it was pressing on the nerve that runs down the outside of my thumb, meaning my thumb was completely numb and I had that awful trapped nerve tingling sensation. A few goes with a heat gun and some moulding and it's all good!

We had a bit of a shopping day on the Wednesday - it was an accident honest! We had a lovely walk around Southlake in Woodley, and then off we went into Reading with a slim shopping list.....I don't know quite how it happened but all I will say in my defence is that the dress was in the sale, and well, the shoes match so perfectly!!!! I think it was Emily's first girly shopping day :-)

Then on Thursday Donna joined us for a lovely (albeit bluddy windy) walk around Dorney Lake - an olympic venue no less. Followed by a massive lunch in the Pineapple which meant I didn't need to eat again all day!!